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The Tard Cave is now tentatively open!

Posted by tardboy on 06.19.2006 at 17:41
Current Location: Bellingham
Current Mood: Mildly Buzzed
Current Music: somafm.com The Secret Agent Channel

So, welcome to the Tard_Cave, such as it is. I'm Tard_Boy, and that guy over there *points toward Berlin, Germany* is Omega_Tard.

Us Tards are people who like to work toward fun in odd ways. We like making stuff. It's usually pretty weird stuff, though. Take the Tardboard armor for instance. There's a decent chance that someone visiting this site has seen the animation above. It's a sequence shot that O-Tard took of me using my Urban Camo Pack. This particular animation made its rounds on the net years ago and is even featured in ebaum's world, set to music I didn't choose, and is an avatar option on a few community boards. 

So what the heck are we? I'll take a stab at defining us: 

- We're inventors. We like to create new things that others may have never seen anything like before. Our creations are most often toys, such as surgical tubing water rocket cars, skewer dart guns, or my soon-to-be-patented Bingshot. We also invent games and activities such as Croquet For Beer, Flambe' Ball, and the Downhill Light Cycles Game. Some of what we make may sound dangerous, but it's basically about creating stuff we think is fun. 

- We're also, admittedly, Geeks of a sort. Let's face it, O-Tard and I really did enjoy the cartoons and movies we grew up with. They're a part of us as our Lore, such as Star Wars, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Schwarzenegger movies, Aliens, Star Trek, and more. They guided us and misguided us, just as they entertained us and embarrassed us. We also dig gadgets, computer and videogames, role-playing games, old comic books, and toys. We tend to steer our Geek natures in our own unique ways, though, so we aren't just about nostalgia. You'll see what I mean. 

- We're also artists/humorists. We definitely have a need to create, and to have fun while doing so. We've been known to fuss with a comic strip, improvised music and comedy, animation (both film and digital), photoshopped art, and now this blog. We're hoping to share a wide variety of content if we can find the motivation. We've had hurdles to our motivation and productivity, such as moving to different countries, but we're both determined to Tard out. 

- We're adventurers. We really did train to be superheroes when we were kids :) Ahh, the memories! We've done a lot of hiking, climbing, bush-whacking, padded swordfighting, SCUBA diving, snorkeling, cliff-jumping, swinging on ropes, playing with fire, and other weird, dangerous, adventurous activities. We also tend to combine objectives and imagination into our adventuring. We place beacons at waypoints, bury treasures, and launch rockets at Imelda Marcos. There's role-playing involved, but to a degree where we are being us... not just still keeping our identities, but letting our true characters experience freedom. 

- We're philosophers, futurists, and social commentators. 

- We are scientists. 

- We're crafters of tasty brews and treats. 

- We're humble and realistic about what we can achieve, yet are also confident and optimistic. 

- We are also... freaks.... There, I said it! We know this. How could we possibly achieve the things we aim to do and still be normal people? Fitting into the mould of the way people expect people to act would just be too limiting for someone who would want to make art out of toys, edited media images, and Tardboard armor; who would aspire to make people laugh at us and not just with us.

So, why exactly are we "Tards"? Hmmm... Perhaps that'll get explained some other time. Anyway, welcome to The Tard_Cave. Grab a beer, check out whatever we have to share, and freak freely!


tardwing at 2006-06-22 22:50 (UTC) (Link)

TardWing has joined the formation

Let's start with a favorite Zen Koan.

Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After enlightenment, get durnk, chop wood carry water. *opens 1st ice cold PBR (I'm sponsored)*

Now that the tone is set, how are you? I'm about an 8.5 (the scale it's on is up for you to decide). I am Tard Wing, and I am a force multiplier (reference wikipedia). Thrown or falling into the mix, the situation will become more dynamic, and undredictable. After all, adventure is what being a Tardologist is about. Adventure, of all kinds shapes and feelings, is what TARDOLOGY will bring to your life. Have you ever thought to yourself.... I have this great idea, I SHOULD really get to work on it.... Or maybe you've thought to yourself, I wonder what's beyond the coast or the 'common attraction' we SHOULD go check it out.... But then do nothing about it. *Opens 2nd ice cold PBR with condensation perculating down the side* Then you are falling victim to what our society hypes and sells in plenty, the mundane and routine, and whether or not you like it, you are 'shoulding' all over yourself. That is the sickness, and our offerings and way are the cure. *audience claps, and numerous 'amens' and 'preach on's are hear*

By definition adventure throws you into the UNKNOWN, something that is best framed as beautiful and once found, inspirational. The point of adventure, is dispell the mysterious, which has a lure and spell that once investigated will enrich your life for the better and fore-ever. Adventure is the core principal of my tardness, and is not limited to the exterior, but the interior as well. For example, just how drunk can you get? And then what structure can you make out of you empties?

My favorites Tard adventures will follow in the next post, please post comments and ideas to comments.

TF aka "Tango-Foxtrot"

tardboy at 2006-06-23 00:32 (UTC) (Link)

Re: TardWing has joined the formation

Thank you, TardWing!

That was so beautiful, I was shoulding in my pants while reading it.

Yes, TardWing is a mighty Tard indeed. Adventure recaps would be awesome!
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